|March 7, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream, Working|
I really shouldn’t be in charge of answering the phones at work. Seriously, I’m not good at it. Sure, I have proper phone etiquette, I can transfer a simple call and take down a short messages, but for some reason, voicemail keeps screwing me up.
In relevant news, I did something super creepy at work this week.
So a very nice gentleman called the office phone, but neither of the front desk workers were there so the phone call was transferred back to my phone.
“Hi, may I please speak with so-and-so?”
“Sure, who may I ask is calling?”
He gives me his name.
“I’ll see if she is at her desk. One moment please.”
I hit hold, peek around to see if she’s there–she’s not. So I click back to the man on the phone.
“I’m sorry, she’s away from her desk at the moment. Can I pass along a message for you?”
“I can just leave a voicemail if that’s alright.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. “Sure thing, I’ll transfer you to her voicemail now.”
Well, I don’t know how, but I got her voice mail….only to click the phone call right back to me. And just as I began to apologize for my mistake, the man begins leaving his message.
I grab a pen and quietly take notes as this guy leaves what he thinks is a voicemail…..but is actually just me, sitting silently, trying not to breathe too loud, awkwardly writing down everything he says. I had to stop myself from asking him to repeat his phone number as he sped through the message — thank goodness he left an email address as well.
Then he hung up…and I passed the message along.
I’ve never felt like such a phone creep, listening silently on the other end of the line while this guy thought he was alone. I know voicemails are meant to be listened to, but something about being on the phone when someone doesn’t know you’re there is oddly violating and voyeuristic of some kind of intimate moment, as though I was lurking in the shadows, watching….waiting….
So just keep that in mind next time you think you’re alone on the phone. I might be on the other end….
What’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever done at the office or on the phone?
|March 6, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream|
Life Lesson #1: Sleep makes everything better, or at least, more tolerable.
But today, I’m feeling better. I didn’t wake up feeling fixed or cured, but I still got out of bed. And I feel more capable of handling whatever happens next.
Life Lesson #2: There is nothing more inspiring, uplifting and healing than talking to friends.
The amount of support and love that I received yesterday, from people I know, people I don’t know, people I haven’t heard from in months and people I talk to every day has been absolutely astounding.
Either you guys have been there, done that and offered me insight to help get me through this, or you’re right there with me struggling and
sympathizing commiserating in solidarity.
Either way, you’re there and you’re helping. And I love you all for it.
Life Lesson #3: Sometimes hurting is good. It means you’re alive.
A smart girl told me last night that all my fear, my worry, my dissatisfaction with my life–my intense need for more–is a good thing. It means I still have the desire and passion to live an extraordinary life.
Life Lesson #4: Don’t run away from everything that scares you.
I have an intense fear of things I don’t understand. I fear the unchartered “in-between” where a situation doesn’t fit within the confines of any pre-established construct. But that doesn’t mean I should run away from it. What if it is exactly what I need? What if offers me things that neither end of the spectrum could possibly give me?
If getting hurt is part of life, then why run from what can make me stronger? Especially if I have more to gain than lose?
Life Lesson #5: Keep getting up. Every day that you happen, life happens around you.
Things are happening behind the scenes and beyond our grasp that will change the course of our lives. Even if each day feels like a repeat of the last, droning on and on, know that things are happening that will affect you in some way, and that you just have to be there for them to happen to you.
Getting up is the first step because it means we have a fighting chance.
To quote my good friend Azzernin, “You already have a fire within you that is popping and cracking, and ready to set flame to the whole fucking earth.”
So use it.
|March 5, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream|
It seems only appropriate that I hit the apex of my mid-twenties and immediately plunge into the throws of a quarter-life crisis.
A combination of dashed hopes and sleepless nights has landed me in an extremely vulnerable place, utterly susceptible to the most painful of harsh realities and realizations.
The worst of which being that I don’t feel like I have a reason to get up in the morning. I have no passion for anything. I feel lost in my own life. And I feel very much alone. And I’m absolutely terrified.
It may sound like I’m being overly dramatic, but the quarter-life crisis is a very real and tangible thing. Heck, it even has a wikipedia page!
Common symptoms of a quarter-life crisis are often feelings of being “lost, scared, lonely or confused” about what steps to take in order to transition properly into adulthood.
What a horrifying relief it was to find out that I am basically a cliche–that at some point, everyone goes through something like this.
I’ve pondered this before, but it’s been a year now and I still don’t know what gets me up in the morning.
I thought it was writing. I thought it was running. I thought it was my friends. I thought it was my relationship. I thought it was some semblance of a career. But none of those things excite me anymore. Nothing seems to make me eager to jump out of bed and take on the day. I just do it because that’s what you do. That’s what people–adults–do.
I have no idea what I want in life right now.
I keep thinking that if I can nail down just one answer for myself, then I can give myself some kind of direction.
Maybe if I met someone, I would want to stay in one place and I can proceed from there. Or maybe, if I found my dream job, I’d at least know where I should be and the dominoes would start to fall. Or, if I found a passion for something, I could pursue it with every fiber of my being and just let life happen.
But none of those things are happening right now. None of the pieces to the puzzle are falling into place. And I don’t know why.
I’ve accepted that it’s okay to not be where I want in life yet. I’ve stopped comparing myself to others, I’ve even come to terms with the reality that I can’t plan out my life the way I want. Heck, I’m even excited for the diverted path of twists and turns that will take me where I’m going. But I simply am not the kind of person that just sits back and waits for things to just happen. Not when I feel like this.
I feel like I should be actively be grasping at something–anything–to find that one thing to commit to and by doing so, I will give myself some meaning, some reason, some direction.
I want to make something happen. Even if what I am working toward isn’t where I end up, I need to be working toward something. I need a that reason to get up. I need something to throw myself into, if nothing else to just distract me from the insecurity and loneliness.
But where do I find that reason? Or worse, what if I never do?
Cure the paralyzing indecision that is keeping me in flux. Because if half the problem is discovering what I need, then the other half is having the courage to go after it.
|February 25, 2014||Filled under Virtual Coffee Date|
If we were having coffee….you’d probably be buying because IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! (Just kidding, Starbucks gave me a freebie today.) I’m officially 25 years old. I feel so young, and yet I still remember when I thought 25 was old…. I also thought by 25, I’d have it all together. HA! silly, silly me.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you how I have the best coworkers ever. Check out this cupcake my one friend got for me! (IT’S HUGE!) The best part was when she accidentally texted me to say she’d be late instead of our other coworker, revealing said cupcake surprise I also got lots of hugs, birthday signs and well-wishes! You guys are the best!
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you about how I am starting to feel itchy to travel again. Maybe it’s because people keep sending me gorgeous pictures from their travels in Indonesia. Maybe it’s this travel book (Wanderlove by Kirsten Hubbard) that I’m reading, or that the main character reminds me of myself more than I’d like to admit. Maybe it’s my parents trying to convince me to quit my job and do something irresponsible while I’m still young. Or maybe I just need to run away
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you how much I am currently in love with the music group, Bastille. Their music makes me want to take chances, be exciting and get going on this whole “living” thing. I’ve been totally rocking out to them at work and during my metro commute each day.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you how ready I am for winter to be over. It was 60 degrees this past weekend and today it snowed. I just…I need the cold weather to be over now. I need the sunshine and to shed my jackets. I need to get outside and stretch my legs. I need Spring!
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I really wish I had planned my birthday a little better. No one is really around or available this week to celebrate with me. I should have planned a visit to Chicago or Ohio! I should have made a point to find people to spend my birthday with me. Darn! Ah well, there’s always March.
If we were having coffee….I’d tell you that I am really, really happy. I’m two months into 2014, and six months into living here in Maryland, and I’ve done so much already. I’m really proud of how far I’ve come and I’m so excited to be headed where ever it is I’m going. I think I’m really going to love being 25.
If we were having coffee….What would you tell me?
|February 24, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream|
As I’ve mentioned, I have begun a love affair with makeup. I know that the “natural look” suits me just fine and I’ve received more compliments when my make up is “light” than compared to my more intense evening looks, but it hasn’t stopped me from expanding my interests and dropping waaay too much money on fun new products.
When it comes to makeup, I wear it for two reasons:
1) To not look like I’m sick. If I didn’t wear any at all, it would be just like in college when every time I would come home to visit my parents, they would ask me if I was feeling alright. I was fine, for the record. After copious amounts of blood work all returning normal, the doctor decided I probably just needed to get out in the sun a little more. Or, as I’ve realized, wear some makeup.
2) To feel good. Like the title of the post says: when you look good, you feel good. If I feel pretty, I feel confident, and makeup makes me feel pretty. So there.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going full-crazy-clown-face every day of the week. Heck, that would take waaay too much effort.
My typical routine is actually fairly simple: Liquid foundation. Conceller. Powder foundation. Blush. Eye primer. Eye shadow. Eye liner. Mascara.
Okay, maybe not sooo simple, but it doesn’t take me any more than 5-10 minutes each morning so it’s not too bad. And plus, it’s fun! Seriously, have you ever played around with the Urban Decay Naked palettes? Because they are so pretty and so magical….so much shimmer! I’m totally in love.
The thing about makeup is knowing when to wear what look. Every day at the office? I’m most likely going to rock “no-makeup” makeup which just separates me from the living dead. But for a night on the town? Let’s rock some eyeliner and flashy colors! Sure, most people won’t notice and some might even say it’s too much, but when I feel fierce, I’ll act fierce.
It’s not the makeup, it’s how you wear it.
What makeup products could you not do without?
What is your daily makeup routine like?
|February 23, 2014||Filled under Caffeine Roundup|
|February 21, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream, Working|
Living an hour away from the office means I need to have a variety of things with me at all times. I can’t just run home real quick so I have to be ready for anything.
Inside my Mary Poppins Longchamp bag, I carry two very important kits with me: A Washup kit and a Makeup kit.
The Washup Kit
This is essential for anyone and everyone. No matter who you are, you need to have deodorant and a toothbrush (& toothpaste) with you at all times. These are just two things you never, ever want to be without. But I’ve built on this to include makeup wipes, face wash and moisturizer for when I want to wash up at the gym before taking the metro home. I don’t really like to shower at the gym, but I also don’t want to smell or feel gross for the hour it takes me to get home, so this little kit is ideal. And should I ever need to spend the night in the city, I’m already set!
The Makeup Kit
I initially put this kit together for traveling, buying doubles of my favorite products to avoid moving things back and forth since I was all over the place for a short time, but I’ve since decided it can’t hurt to always have it with me. It was a bit costly up front, but the hassle it has saved me has more than made up for the cost. In it, I keep concealer, powder foundation, primer, an simple eye shadow palette, mascara, eyeliner, tinted lip balm, and brushes.
Not pictured in these kits are a few other essentials I suggest any young professional always have on hand, including a hair brush, mirror, breath mints, and some snacks.
Snacks are critical for me as I can get pretty grouchy when my blood sugar drops and no one wants to see that. Seriously, I get hangry (hungry + angry).
What kinds of things do you always have on hand?
What products do you wish came in travel size?
|February 20, 2014||Filled under Living the Dream|
Every time you see a celebrity quote about what it took for them to be successful, the two pieces of advice you consistently see are: work hard and don’t be afraid of failure.
I feel like I’ve seen and heard this so many times, it’s lost all intended meaning. Of course you have to work hard. That’s how you get good at things. And you have to keep trying, even if you fail. Duh. It just seems so simple.
But I’ve been dwelling on this “fear of failure” concept a lot recently. I mean, I’m not a completely stranger to failure. I’ve messed up, made mistakes, hurt people, been hurt, and failed at tasks, and I’ve come through it all just fine. And yet, even knowing I can take on these challenges, I’m absolutely petrified of doing something that might not work out.
What if I move to DC and can’t make it? What if I get emotionally tangled up with someone and it doesn’t work out? What if I never figure out what I actually want to do with my life and just sort of float along? What if I never move out of my parents house because I’m too afraid to take a chance and possible fail (or succeed)?
The prospect….it’s terrifying!
But the honest answer is, I’ll take it like a punch to the gut, lay there on the ground for a white, probably cry a bit, and then once the pain starts to go away, I’ll get back up. I mean, that’s life, right? Getting back up.
I hate that I’ve let fear run my life for so long, and still continue to do so. Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made are the ones that were probably stupid, spur of the moment, spontaneous and all-together not all that well thought through.
I mean, take moving to city. What have I got to lose? Money? Time?
The truth is, my biggest fear isn’t necessarily failure, but the emotional pain that comes along with it. I’m afraid to feel crushed. I’m afraid to admit I couldn’t do something. I’m afraid to come running back to Mom and Dad because I wasn’t a proper adult that could do it on my own.
But it wouldn’t be the first and it wouldn’t be the last. And the truth is, I probably wouldn’t fail. My fear of failure is probably greater than the likelihood that I’ll actually muck it up. I mean, we humans are fearful, but also determined and resilient creatures. I honestly think that whatever situation I put myself in, I’ll find a way to make it work. We rise to the occasion put before us.
And yet, while so confident in myself, why do I hesitate? Why don’t I just jump feet first into the deep pools of opportunity laid out before me?
I want to believe it’s sort of sense of danger. Maybe a survival instinct? Self-preservation from the horrors and trials of a fairly cozy life? Or maybe I’m just afraid of looking silly.
What’s your biggest fear?
How bad do you want winter to be over now? I mean, seriously.