To Feel or Not to Feel.
|May 30, 2014||Filled under Rant|
I’d apologize for having disappeared again, but let’s be honest, I’ve done you a favor by not talking about my life recently. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done some pretty awesome stuff.
I spent the long weekend on top of a mountain with the greatest people in the world.
And I saw an advanced screening of Maleficent earlier this week. (SO GOOD. SEE IT IMMEDIATELY.)
The reason I’ve been missing from the blog world recently is because I’ve just had a lot of feelings and I’m trying not to broadcast them to the world.
But now I want to talk about feelings in general. About people who have them, and about people who appear not to feel anything at all. Because if there is one thing that I am seriously sick of, it’s people who are emotionally inaccessible.
I don’t know what happened in some people’s lives that has made them so broken that they can’t share what they are thinking or feeling — that allows them to mute their emotions day-to-day — but as someone who is extremely affected by emotions and feelings, and generally empathetic to the struggles of others, there is nothing more frustrating than dealing with someone who can watch someone pour their heart out and just sit there quietly, straight-faced, and when it’s their turn to share, have nothing to say.
I am so sick of the excuse that people have “a hard time expressing their feelings.”
I think everyone has had at least some experience with someone like that, romantic or otherwise, and it’s hard. As someone who likes to talk through problems and share how a situation makes me feel while trying to find a solution — as someone who needs a little verbal reassurance in relationships to feel loved — these kinds of people are extremely traumatic and damaging.
I think those of us who are a little more in touch with our feelings try to relate, but we just end up feeling like the weaker person. Why do we let our emotions control us? Why can’t we shut it off and go about our days? And I mean, to an extent, we can. We aren’t slaves to our emotions. We’re adults who have things to do and are perfectly capable of getting them done, despite what is going on in our lives.
But in comparison, we feel a little weaker. We feel like the broken ones. We feel like the ones with a defect. When in reality, it’s the people who don’t feel who are shooting themselves in the foot. How will you ever get close to someone if you never feel anything for anyone else?
Are we braver for having feelings? And are others weaker for being able to tune theirs out? Sometimes, I’m not sure which way I’d rather be.
Obviously, I’m bias. I am, always have been, and probably always will be an emotional person. And maybe I’m a little hurt. And feeling a little pathetic right now. So be it.
But I swear, if one more person tells me that they “have a hard time expressing their feelings,” and uses it as an excuse as to why their relationships fail or why they can’t get close to anyone, I will smack them in the face. I try not to use my emotions as an excuse for my behavior, so they had better not use their lack of emotions as an excuse for theirs.
I need to bring food for a work potluck on Monday. What should I bring?